Somebody once said that your ministry or calling is wrapped up in what you would do whether you are paid or not. I didn’t have to look far. I have spent countless hours sweating the details on budgetless projects because I am passionate about the process.
Since I began freelancing full time, I have also felt guilty that I enjoyed it so much. I felt guilty when I considered the possibility of getting more training. I felt guilty wanting to be the best I could be. Why? Because I have also thought I should be just like Paul or Peter or John. Sell all and follow Him. Yet recently I’ve thought that we have taken these few men to be the rule and not the exception. How many others were required to leave all to pursue ‘their calling’? Not many. In fact the Lord rejected a number who asked to follow Him. To paraphrase, He said “you’d be more effective if you went back home, and talked to your neighbours etc.
Consider where we as men really find fulfillment? Where do we find meaning, and purpose? And where does our little light shine? Could the answer be: at work? If that is true, we have complicated our lives to the nth degree. Think about it. The christian goes to work, puts in the time because he has to provide. Then he comes home and because good christians get involved, he feels obligated/guilty and joins a midweek evangelism meeting where he discovers more things he is not doing. And he heads home wondering why the christian life is so demanding. Could we have it all backwards?
Recently I have found a deep and abiding peace in the realization that the Lord has gifted me to do what I do. And it’s wrapped up in His desire to see all men saved and come to the knowledge of Himself. How many pastors could walk into the places we do and have the same credibility? None. You’d have to be as public a figure as Billy Graham. And even then, I don’t know. Yet here we are, ushered into the presence of presidents and ceos. Printers and paper suppliers. Creative directors and others. And our light shines. And when the opportunity arises we’ll be asked the reason of our hope—and we may persuade some.
Some time ago, I noticed I hadn’t paid enough tax on a project and went to discuss it with the printer. I asked if he was okay with me submitting the balance to the government myself, and he said “you know Matt, you are one of the most honest people I know. If it were anyone else I would say no, but to you I have no trouble saying—go right ahead.” I just stood there and listened. Stunned. Yet, isn’t that the little light shining there? I think so. Who knows? Perhaps one day he will ask me the reason for the hope that I have.
Work as ministry is such a profound and far reaching reality that I doubt I have even touched the surface of it.
Monday, May 21, 2007
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